A long, long time ago, there was a squid named Stella who lived deep in the waters of the Atlantic Ocean. She had a happy life, for a squid. She would shoot around the ocean chasing fish and shoving them into her mouth. Stella was a great hunter and she was pleased with herself for being so smart and fast. But something was missing. The ocean was dark and deep but there was nothing fun and bright to amuse her. Like all cephalopods, she was very smart and that meant she also got bored.
One day while she was gliding after a school of lanternfish, something heavy and rectangular bonked her on the head! She reached out with her tentacles and caught it before it sank to the deepest depths of the ocean. She held it up to the light of the lanternfish (which had stopped to see why they hadn't been gobbled up yet.) It was a book! Stella turned page after page, her three hearts pounding with glee. The book had colorful pictures of children and presents, reindeer and ribbons, and a fat man in a red suit. It was glorious! It was bizarre!
Obviously, Stella couldn't read because she was a squid, but she was bright enough to know she had found something special. She shot up to the surface in time to see a sleigh fly out of sight. They must have dropped it from that big bag on the back. She vowed to return the book to its owner. It was something of great value.
Stella followed the man in the red suit and his team of reindeer all over the world. Frantic to return the precious book. She was so fast in the water, but her progress across the land was slow! The man would disappear way before she got there. She dragged her slimy body into chimneys and through living rooms to find a plate full of crumbs and a pile of gifts. Useless.
At one house, she didn't find a plate of crumbs and an empty milk glass. Instead, there was a plate of unfinished sushi and a pile of soy packets. An assembly of action figures surrounded the offering, as if they were beseeching an elder god. Stella sucked down the shrimp tails and soy sauce, feeling like Cthulhu himself. She dropped the book under the tree and squelched into the kitchen sink and wriggled back to the sea. The careless man in the sleigh didn't deserve to have his book anyway, whoever left the seafood mess really deserved it.
After that, life in the ocean was very dull indeed. Stella found herself dreaming about books and stories. She wanted to share them with more people while she cleaned up their seafood offerings. So, she used her own ink to compose pictures and words. She gathered a hoard of books and art supplies to her cold, wet lair and waited for just the right moment to share them. When the man and his reindeer passed by on his sleigh, she knew it was time to share with the world.
If you leave soy sauce on a plate between Christmas and New Years, you could be visited by Stella the Christmas Squid! IF you also strew your action figures in a respectful pile or construct diorama offering the soy as if to an elder god, she will doubly bless you with art supplies. She will creep into your bedroom late at night and determine your preferences by squeezing your head with her boneless arms. Or, if you'd like to be more proactive, place Stella on your head yourself. It's up to you. In the morning, you will find a slightly wet gift, perfectly tailored to your preferences! Bless you, Stella.
