Gemini-This coming month will be full of unsavory opportunities. Don't take a single risk during this time and offer apologies to everyone who has loaned you money. A hefty windfall is headed your way, so buy an umbrella! When your mother mentions lasagna, pretend you have the flu.
Capricorn-The wheelbarrow is heading for you. Don't forget to move! Or stay put. It all depends on your preferences.
Taurus-Don't hold back this year. Consider giving in to temptations. Get yourself an extra sandwich. Buy your dad a puppy. Feed pennies to the ducks at the park. Treat yourself!
Corolla-Sit back and relax. People trust you. You've put in lots of work and it's about to pay off. Enjoy the moment and don't let anything stress you out.
Cancer-Now's the time to learn Portuguese!
Libra-A long-anticipated romance is about to come to fruition. Use protection! Just kidding;)
Leo-Probably deserves an Academy Award.
Lusitania-When you get to the end of the corridor, take a left and open the red door. It will lead you back to the street. Take a left when you get to the corner of the building and you will find yourself in an alley with a blue dumpster. If you move the dumpster a little to the right, you will find a small red door. The password is "Dakota."
Aries-Just let the lady take you home. Okay? Was that so hard?
Scorpio-You are a prince. Eat yourself some chocolate and take your lady dancing. Invest in a two person beanbag and quit your job.
Sagittarius-Your mother and I are very worried about you. Is there something you need to tell us?
Pisces-Wither on the vine, oh ye of little faith!
The stream of oats flow barren.
The time runs the length and breadth of your desire.
Upended. Spilled out. Turnt loose.
You're allergic to peanuts now.
#blessed
Virgo-Ghosts are real. There's one in your house. You're sitting on her. Jerk.
Aquarius-You won at Powerball! Congrats! Share this photo for more winnings!
